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-An Article By Shachi Maheshwari
Career GuidanceWe all know that it is not wise to have a fragile temper. We all understand that whether it is attitude or opinion, the way you mean and the way you present makes it an important proposition to learn and grow in life. If a person is great at work and is weak in people handling skills, it is difficult for the person to go up the ladder in the corporate world. As far as the profession and family life is concerned, people may accept you for reasons of your acumen or relativity or love but your body is the one which takes the biggest toll because of your temperament disorders. A person who can lose his temper often or very easily actually damages many organs as well as the overall functioning of the body.

You might find strange but these days you will find every doctor or specialist putting the blame on stress and anxiety which are the by-products of your temperament disorders, for nearly all diseases. Even some cancers are synched with the reasons of stress and other disorders. If we see minutely, we will find that the temperament disorders result into self consumption damages more than anything else.

  • A person, who holds to an attitude for no good reason actually tends to justify his temperament disorders at times.
  • A person, who is aware of his angriness on wrong things most of the times but can’t help it, actually is finding an excuse to continue living that way.
  • A person who thinks that anger is a way to vent out actually believes that it is good way and its okay to make this happen without any thought.

It is quite alarming that the big diseases like diabetes, blood pressure, stomach disorders, ulcers are in some or the other way connected to temperament disorders.

So, then what can be done to work towards helping our management towards this temper?

Let’s look at some solutions which may help you all:
Sleeping right!
Sleep well as it’s an important part of life and good quality sleep can help combat many physical, mental and emotional problems, including anger. The 6 to 8 hours of sleep is the only way your mind and body can be put to rest and rejuvenate itself for the next day. Find your ideal need and sleep accordingly. If you are sleeping lesser than your body need, you will suffer from temperament disorders. Sleep well and sound to help your body and mind revive and remain relaxed.

Ease your difficult conversations
If you know that you are about to confront a difficult conversation or situation, make yourself aware about the way which is ideal to respond. It is okay to just say I will revert or simply smile or say nothing for certain times when it is difficult to accept or a negative response might worsen it. Certain times conversations only add to anger and anxiety, so at such times be very aware of your response and don’t get dragged. Plan and prepare your mind for that conversation. Unexpected ones will also start getting better if you get the hold of your responses gradually. First target the known ones. Making notes beforehand, planning what you want to say in a calm and assertive way might come handy at such times. You are also less likely to get side-tracked and lose focus during your conversation if you can refer to your notes.

Solutions Approach
Always learn to ask yourself quickly in the middle of a situation or conversation which is getting worse -
  • “What’s in it for me?”
    If the answer is yes, it has something, then immediately ask another one-
  • “What is the solution?”
    Most of the times you will stop at the first one and other times at the second one. The second one will drag your focus to constructive work of having a solutions approach and then in turn help you to handle the situation better. Also, it is more important to focus on a way to resolve problems so that they don’t arise again in the future.

Acceptance and let go
We all need to accept others as we accept ourselves. A fact that everybody is different and that we cannot control the feelings, beliefs or behaviours of others will help you to be balanced.

Holding on to grudges only adds clutter to the mind and the hard disc of your mind unnecessarily gets crippled with garbage. Try to be realistic and accept that people are the way they are, not how we would like them to be. Being resentful or holding a grudge against somebody will increase your anger and make it more difficult to control. You cannot change how other people behave or think but you can only change how you deal with others.

Know the avoiding time
Avoid certain conversations that you foresee might be uncomfortable if the wound is new. Like, confronting people when they are angry or avoiding giving opinions when a person is already going through a bad day or mood.

Sarcasm or wrong humor
Sometimes in the heat of the moment we tend to make some remarks which are improper or inappropriate from the perspective of politeness that makes the situation worse. Such vent outs- whether they are in the form of rude humor or sarcasms damage the relationships more than anything else. The creation of silent slaps in the form of insults create more problems though are irresistible sometimes. Resist such temptations and resort to good positive humor to help the situation or conversation become normal.

Be silent, breathe slowly, relax and smile it out
After being so conscious, if something happened which has initiated the temper upheavals, then the best thing is to be silent immediately when you realize and start breathing slowly. Slow breathing relaxes muscles and produces chemicals which improves your stability, reduces stress levels and brings heart rate to more normal levels.

If a person is aware of these simple ways and understands the good it does, managing temper becomes easier and easier day by day and the situation of you being managed by your temper starts reducing.

Gaining something is a step by step process and so is the ease and health, so performance of your temperament will decide how much health is on your way because –

“Temperament disorders depend on your ability to believe in yourself to handle them swiftly.”

Author: Shachi Maheshwari
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Published on 8/4/2018 11:57:00 AM

"Life Lessons", a book by Shachi Maheshwari
For a copy of this book, please contact - 09912440741

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